Thursday, May 25, 2006

Sprinting To Acupuncture

...should not happen. You are not supposed to turn into a massive stressball trying to make it to acupuncture, yet that is exactly what happened on Tuesday when I found myself rushing across the city in high heels trying to make it to my appointment on time.

Why, you ask? Because I had been in a meeting with Dragon Lady that went an half hour late while I tensely watched the minutes tick by. We are in the middle of expert discovery, and to put it simply, it sucks ass. Big time. I'm one of the few members of my team left who worked on certain transactions, so I have become the de facto team member to assist with the accounting expert depositions - the de facto team member to work with Dragon Lady. Worse than the subject matter, it turns out that the paralegals f-ed up years ago and never wrote down what they sent my expert. Dragon Lady recently discovered this and has been on a bloodthirsty rampage.

She told me to fix the problem, I did it, but then it turned out that she wanted it done a different way and she bitched me out as if I was the stupidest creature on the planet.

But guess what? It's her fault that it wasn't done the way she wanted it to be done because she is a Great Big Bi-atch. If she could have a conversation like a normal human being without spitting out her words like nails, then perhaps she could have made her directions more clear, and perhaps I would have been inspired to discuss the project in greater depth with her. As it happened though, Dragon Lady raged and muttered about that fact that we did not know what documents my expert had and that we had to identify every single piece of paper. Thus, it seemed logical to bates stamp all of the expert's materials after collecting them. Alas, I was wrong.

In the midst of this mess I had to go to her office for the meeting, which was actually a conference call with our expert. I arrived at her office and she started sputtering and raging at me, at the case, and at everything else in the world. She is a very unhappy human being.

Do you know what I did? I sat there and took it. I didn't get angry. I didn't get defensive or upset. I said, "Dragon Lady, if there was a miscommunication, I apologize. I was just trying to do what I thought you wanted me to do." Period. The end.

What I wanted to say was: You are the biggest fucking bitch that I have ever met in my whole entire life. You are a nasty human being and maybe if you weren't such a fucking bitch I would have tried to talk to you about this more. But you are a fucking bitch and I hate you, so FUCK YOU. Here's my two weeks notice you nasty, toxic bitch.

I gritted my teeth and I held all of that in. God, do I hate taking bullshit. I know that it was the right, mature, and professional thing to do, but I was seething inside. I was also so pissed that instead of being on my way to acupuncture, I was sitting in her office listening to her and the expert rattle off about all of this shit that I DON'T CARE ABOUT.

When I finally reached acupuncture and they treated me even though I was 15 minutes late, it made all of my sprinting worth it. At least I didn't let Dragon Lady destroy my entire evening, and I did something good for me. I took care of myself.

I have adopted a new deadpan face with her. I show no emotion, and though I rant about her being a f-ing bi-atch, I don't let her negativity touch my core. Like right now, I'm actively thinking about what a nasty bi-atch she is, but I'm staying calm and balanced inside. I think this is because yesterday I realized that my job can not get worse. More importantly, I realized that I can take it at its worst. I can stick this out for however long I decide to. There's something freeing about that.

I do detest Dragon Lady though. I detest her with the white-hot intensity of 1,000 burning suns.


Gypsy said...

I think your blank approach with her is right on. People like that live for the reaction. Give her none. And keep looking for other opportunities.

Tracy said...

"I gritted my teeth and I held all of that in. God, do I hate taking bullshit. I know that it was the right, mature, and professional thing to do, but I was seething inside."

I'm not in the situation, and I don't fully understand it, but I don't think you should take her b.s. What if you put up a boundary and said, "Please don't talk to me that way. I'll be happy to discuss this with you when you are ready to address me with the respect that I deserve. Until then, keep your venom to yourself."

Just a thought. You have every right to defend yourself and not have her b.s. slung all over you.

Buttercup said...

Tracy, I agree with you, but all I can say is that she is a very nasty human being, and I feel like if I said anything along the lines of "speak to me politely" it would only create more tension (and problems for me). She doesn't speak to anyone politely... Also I try to keep my interaction with her to the absolute minimum. If I say anything along the lines of setting boundaries, that opens up a whole different conversation.

Basically, I think the situation with her is impossible to improve. I know I sound like a quitter, but after 19 months, that's where I'm at.