Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Though it is not really summer yet...finally, we have had blue skies, sunshine, and just about 70 degrees. So I have started a new journey to be a better person...mentally, physically, and emotionally. I have worked out possibly 3 times throughout the winter. It felt great when I did work out those 3 times but it REALLY kicked my ass. I have been changing my routine with these beautiful days. Now I have been bringing Hazard to the park and running with him. Running. My muscles have been longing for a good cardio workout but since they are not as conditioned as they should be it is a bit difficult.

And even though I try to do my best...another bad habit gets in the way. The "Nico-demon" as referred to on commmercials, tells you to "get the nico-demon off your back." I have smoked for 8 years now. So I have probably lost a year or 2 statistically. Each year I have tried and tried to quit but it is very hard between withdrawals, stress, and just plain habit. BUT, I am embarking on a new journey which means kick the old and bring in the new better, healthy habits. I AM DETERMINED. Each year when I have tried to quit, I say "Well, this is it, I am not going to be a smoker for 4 years...5 years," etc. But this time is different because I AM going to QUIT. Instead of trying to quit cold turkey, with lozenges, patches, or by myself with no real plan but to quit and stop, I called the 888-567-TRUTH. I was very hesistant to call hence I hadn't called the past years, but I have had enough.

The Call: At first I was quiet, expecting to hear them tell me all the bad things that smoking does and lecture me about what it is doing to my body and health, but it was very different and I am glad. The 2 people I spoke with are successful quitters. They talked to me about reasons why I smoke and why I want to quit. They fit me into a plan that will send me 8 weeks worth of gum or patches for free, they are sending me a packet to read, and they went over other ways to deal with stress, cravings, etc. I figured out more coping mechanisms that can be useful that I otherwise just wouldn't think of because it is easier to light up than really to try to quit. I have never felt so supported in my life to quit smoking. As well I took the step to sign up on www.quitnet.com which has already proven itself to be helpful. Each day I receive an email that includes a Quit Tip, Medication Tip, successful quitters, and a Q-Comic. Each email helps me stay in my mindset.

Though many of you, including Buttercup, have never smoked or perhaps have tried it but didn't pick up the habit, it is a horrible one to have and it is REAL. My dad and mom would tell me years ago when i was smoking for only 3yrs-6yrs. "you aren't addicted to nicotine, just stop..." Yes I understand that they wanted me to stop but HELLO people that is the stupidest thing to say to someone who really wants to quit and frankly it is just wrong because nicotine enters the brain immediately and it has it's own receptors in the brain. If you put nicotine in them, of course the receptors are going to want more. (I just wish I had known how the drug worked prior to beginning the addiction). But oh well, goodbye with the past and Hello new!

To wrap things up, if you smoke, try to quit. If you have never smoked, don't try it, it's a waste of $, and a pain to be "not in control" of what you want in a day. I have set my date tentatively within the next 2 weeks, so I can receive my packet and gum via mail, get ready by cleaning all laundry, scrub smoke smell from car, throw out all lighters, matches, smoking material, and get into a habit of running outside with Hazard. This way if I want a smoke I can run with him to fight the craving while chewing on some gum to take the edge off. I could probably write a thesis on my new journey to quit smoking. But for you readers who are interested (you have read this far) as well with my new journey to be a QUITTER, a new diet, workout routine, and a new me is in store. I am very excited to have a chance to live my life without cigarettes. My clothes won't smell, my asthma will be alot more managable, I will have more $ and energy to do things I want to, and I will be a better me. Quitting means more than you know to me. My brother was there when I had my first drag and he has struggled to get off of smokes and Chew. I have watched my Dad struggle with smokes throughout his life, my grandma passed away from emphysema, my uncle died from cancer (smoking didn't help him), and my grandpa died a smoker as well. It is in the family but I am determined to do it for my health; my life, my Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle (May they rest in peace) and my present and Future family who cares and will care about me.

To Blog Readers: Thank you for reading about my "new journey." I didn't want to write about this because it shouldn't even be an issue, but I feel great now that I did and even better it's in my mind set to quit.


Tracy said...

You go, Bean! I have to say that I enjoy the irony of you two sisters--you blogging about how you WILL be a quitter, and Buttercup blogging about her fears of quitting (her job)! Two different outlooks from two wonderfully unique women! Being a sister, I enjoy these ironies in my own relationship with her. Sisterhood is one of life's most precious gifts!

Buttercup said...

Bean, I'm super-impressed by you. I fully support you being a quitter on this, and I'm SO proud of you for trying again. Keep us all updated.

Gypsy said...

Fantastic!!! Good luck to you.

Bean said...

Thank you!

Baraka said...

Good luck dear - it is a bitch to quit.

I smoked pretty regularly while in college & socially off & on for years afterwards, even after I was diagnosed with Devic's.

I did go cold turkey but it took about 6 weeks to stop craving it every 5 minutes and now a few years later I probably have one twice a year and wonder WHY as soon as I take the first drag.

It's always so much better in fantasy than reality.

You can do it though - just take one day at a time!


Bean said...

Thank you Baraka and congratulations to you. I know for sure I can't do it cold turkey as I have failed. I know it won't be pleasant but it will be awesome to breath again.

ms. jared said...

congratulations! i quit cold turkey not too long ago. it was one year on thanksgiving. go me!

anyway, i like this site http://www.join-the-circle.org/ because it's woman focused. also, i think the sunburst is cute. (i even bought the necklace even though NO ONE seems to know what the hell it represents.)

best of luck to you in this huge and wonderful step. it'll make you happier than you expect. it has for me anyway.

xoxo, jared

Bean said...

Thank you Ms. Jared, I will check out the website.