Anti-Texting

When did texting become an acceptable primary method of courting and communication in the dating world? People used to pick up the phone and have a real, live conversation, in real time, prior to asking them out on a date. Even when texting first appeared, people used it to nail down logistical details, not to set up a first date. Now, it's everywhere. Males are using it to set up dates, maintain the appearance of connection while engaged in other activities, and for random effortless booty calls.

That's my main problem with texting, it requires basically no effort whatsoever.

I've reached the point where I've decided simply not to respond to texts. If a male does not have the balls or the level of interest required to pick up the phone and give me a call, he's not worth my time. If you must know, River was basically the inspiration behind that decision. He texted me one too many times, thought it was acceptable to ask me for dinner over a text, and periodically availed himself of his phone's texting capabilities to "booty text" me. My final conclusion on River was that he was looking for a girl to make-out with - and nothing more - and he mistakenly thought I was that girl. He also mistakenly thought that I would keep returning his texts indefinitely.

This morning, my no texting policy was challenged because the guy I met at the Reunion texted me to ask when I was free this week. This, after failing to call Monday night as he had indicated that he would. By the time he texted, I had basically written him off to a nice experience. Faced with the text, I was forced to decide whether to ignore it, write back, and if so, what to write back. Eventually, I settled on texting back that he should call me to set something up. Guess what happened? He called, and then I called him back, and then we had a real conversation. Amazing.

To be clear, the anti-texting policy is only against the use of texting as the primary method of communication in a dating relationship, such as texting to set up a date. Texting is fine as a secondary or tertiary method of communication, and particularly useful for ironing out logistics (i.e. "We're in the bar, where are you? Meet me there."). But, if I'm not committed to you yet, you're going to have to do something other than texting if you want me to stick around.

Any man worth his weight in salt will pick up the phone and call. Any man who's actually interested, will want to pick up the phone and call. If he's too busy, too scared, or too uninterested to call, he's basically a waste of time, energy, and emotional space.