Friday, February 23, 2007

We Settled!!!

I'm pretty tired right now so can't fill you all in on the whole story, but suffice it to say that after two years of fighting, we finally settled my client's contested divorce case. Woohoo! It took almost 8 hours of back and forth informal conferences and hearings before the Judge, but we finally reached a mutually satisfying agreement. Actually, I should say mutually "unsatisfying" because I don't think either side was happy; however, they both reached a place that they were comfortable with under the circumstances. Christ, I never want to go through a divorce. What a freaking nightmare. It's enough to make you want to draw up a pre-nup, just so you don't have to deal with a messy circus in the event that things sour. I know that's not terribly romantic, but it's practical.

So, unbelievably, the case that would not end has finally reached a conclusion. Yesterday evening, after it was all done and we were on our way to take our client out to a celebratory dinner, I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of me. This was a big source of stress that has finally been cleared off of my plate. Yay!!!! I'm so relieved, I'm happy for my client to finally be able to put this chapter behind her, and I'm also happy for me because, other than finalizing the judgment and taking care of some administrative details, it's all over!!

I also made progress on the job front. This afternoon, I went on a follow-up interview with Bachelor #1. I met two more associates and then spoke with the hiring partner, an awesome guy. I don't know why, but shortly arriving at their offices, something inside of me started telling me that they weren't right for me. I don't know if it was the hideous ID picture the building took of me on my first visit, and which they insisted upon using on all of my subsequent visits, or the fact that their building overlooks EXBF's offices and shares a subway stop with them, or the fact that everyone treated me slightly oddly because they knew about my mugging, but for some reason going into the interviews I already knew in my gut what my decision was going to be. Meeting the associates only confirmed what I already knew. They were nice enough, but nothing special, and though their firm is better in terms of lifestyle than my current firm, they still had a bit too much of a big-firm feel. Even though their hours aren't that high, it still felt a little too much like a machine. I found myself thinking fondly of Bachelor #5's offices, which only have about 20 attorneys in their NY office.

Both firms are basically evenly matched in terms of prestige, people, and type of work. However, at Bachelor #1, I'd have to do almost exclusively white collar work for at least one year. At Bachelor #5, I'd do some white collar, but would also be able to do a few other types of assignments almost immediately. #1 has approximately 60 attorneys in their office and, as I mentioned, #5 has only 20 - a fact that gives their offices a nice feel. I feel like I would get a lot of responsibility at #5, would not be able to hide or slip through any cracks, and I'd also get taken care of in terms of mentoring, assignments, and the ability to develop professional relationships. Plus, the main partner that I'd be working with at #5 seems like an incredibly cool guy who understands the meaning of having a life. He has a wife and a child, coaches soccer, and is signing up to coach little league. If your partner is coaching little league, you know you're life can't be that bad.

The biggest factor weighing in favor of #5 is that my friend Em just started working there, and it would be awesome to continue working in the same office as her. We're a great team, and it's always a plus to have a friend in your workplace. She's also been able to give me the inside scoop, since she started working there last week, and so far every thing I hear from her is basically positive. A few days ago we were talking and suddenly, at 6:20pm, she said, "Oh gosh, I gotta go. I have to get to the gym." Fantastic. Now that's the type of life I'm talking about.

This week was stressful and I had two minor meltdowns, one on Monday night and one last night, but tonight I feel hopeful and excited about the future. I am on the verge of making a HUGE change. Sometimes I get frustrated and am hard on myself for not having things together yet (i.e. not going to the gym regularly, not doing yoga, crying and being emotional with some frequency, though not a sixteenth as often as I used to in my past relationship - Yay!), but I can't do that to myself. I need to remember that I have made a lot of progress and once I get a new job which actually allows me to have a life, I think things are going to change dramatically. Bean said that to me last night and I think she's right.

I can not effing wait to get out of my firm. I'm starting to buzz with energy just thinking about it. I could give my notice next week. Do you understand how exciting this is?????

The other things that I'm excited about tonight are the following: (1) I sent out my laundry to get done for the first time ever, and am pretty much ecstatic that I don't have to do laundry this weekend; (2) I was good to myself and stayed in this evening, relaxed, and caught up on Grey's Anatomy (I cried), Lost (Bai Ling??), American Idol (go ladies), and Heroes (very cool); (3) I'm having an Oscar watching party this Sunday; and (4) I painted my toes and finger nails and they look delightful. I think I'm going to stay in more often on Friday nights. It's fun.


Starshine said...

How exciting! A settled case, a sense of "rightness" about bachelor #5, and Scarlett O'Hara nail polish? Life is good!

Just think about all you've done in the last two months: moved into a new apartment, dated new boys, interviewed with a ton of firms, settled a divorce case, and SURVIVED a mugging...I don't think there's anything to beat yourself up about in there...just a ton to feel proud of!

I'm so excited for your future!

Buttercup said...

Starshine, You are a sweetheart. :)

gravelly said...

Buttercup, you watch "American Idol"...whoa, way to go girl! Wasn't that girl who sang the song from "Dreamgirls" : "And I am telling you I'm not leaving" totally awesome?? I got chills! Another Jennifer Hudson! I didn't cry at "Grey's" because I KNEW it was going to be a boring episode of Meredith getting to heaven and fighting to get back to earth.
Have fun at your Oscar party...I might start that tradition here! Good luck with the job decision. You totally rock!

Karianne said...

Yeah for you on the settlement. Tying up all of those loose ends can be so freeing. And a possible notice-giving week? Hon, you have come so far!

Speaking of your Oscar party, check out my post today. Kind of along the same lines.

Now off to paint my nails. You inspired me.

Sparky Duck said...

Party and I didnt get invited? -sniff sniff-

I would think 5 would be nice because you would not get lost in the maze that is a bunch of attorneys

Sparky Duck said...

oh and way to go, and even when amicable, divorces SUCK

Buttercup said...

Gravelly - You are a cold woman (about Grey's). :)

Karianne - Yay! I always feel better when my toenails are painted and my nails are nice. Girly but good.

Sparky - There were only 3 attorneys out of 6 attendees. Not bad. Re: divorce - totally.

InterstellarLass said...

I hated my divorce. It was such a cold and clinical end to something that was so emotional. It's an awful thing that I will never, never experience again.

I need to paint my nails. Spring blue. :)