Friday, January 26, 2007

Internal Chit-Chat

BCB: You knew this would happen. Ever action has a reaction.

BC: What?

BCB: You knew you were pushing yourself too hard, staying out too late, too often. You knew you weren't taking care of yourself and that eventually it would catch up with you. We tried to warn you for both of our sakes, but you wouldn't listen.

BC: I've just been really busy. Between work and interviews, meeting new people, getting to know my room mate, going out... there's been a lot going on.

BCB: One week, we could understand. Even two, we could see how that could happen. But this has been going on since the middle of December. This is a month and a half of constantly being on the go. When was the last time you sat still with nothing to do, nowhere to be?

BC: Hello? Did you not just see me lying there on the couch for the last few hours sick as a dog?

BCB: Our point exactly. If we hadn't stepped in, god knows where you would be right now. No doubt drinking in some bar having a grand old time.

BC: And what, pray tell, is wrong with that?

BCB: We don't have a problem with you having a nice time. We have a problem with how we feel the next morning after you've stayed out all night. We have a problem with how we feel after months and months of not going to the gym. When you look in the mirror, we see what you see.

BC: Have you not heard of the concept of "self-love"?

BCB: We do love you. That' s why we're stepping in. We're talking about the circles under our eyes, the strain we see in our face.

BC: But, there's been a lot to do.

BCB: We know you feel that way, but we're done with the excuses. You haven't been taking care of yourself, and now we're putting on the breaks. We told you to start going to bed at a reasonable time yet you persist in going to bed at 1 and 2 am and even staying up all night -

BC: I was working.

BCB: On Wednesday you were working, but what about the weekend? Was it really necessary to stay up until 5 am with that boy? You don't even like him, and you felt sad afterward.

BC: I was processing. That was the walnut's fault, not mine!

BCB: Every weekend it's the same thing. You know you should be getting back into going to the gym, getting 8 hours of sleep, taking a yoga class or two, moving towards a state of balance. We want to feel balanced and we know you do to. We're also sick of the pasta. You need to get yourself together and make some soup. We need some veggies, and taking more than 6 minutes to cook us dinner would do you a world of good. And, start drinking more water. We made those resolutions for your health, you know.

BC: But, I've been doing positive things! I've been meeting all these new people, spending time with my friends, having fun, trying to find a new job! Have you been paying any attention? Did you see all those interviews I went on, all the scrambling I had to do to get out of work? Of course, I'm going to have to be there late if I'm gone for a few hours each day. What do you want, for me not to interview, for me to stay at this place forever? I don't think that's going to get us towards a state of balance. And, I had a trial! I have been super busy and it's not my fault. I don't have time to cook dinner, and I've been enjoying going out. Did you like it better when we were crying into our Harpoon IPAs watching HBO marathons?

BCB: Do you feel healthy right now?

BC: But that's because of you!

BCB: You've worn us down. We know you didn't mean to. It's been tough, and you've done a great job with so many things these past few months. Overall, we're really proud of you. Truly, we are. But, we're worried and we need you to take better care of yourself. If you're not going to do it, if you can't right now, then we're going to do it for you.

BC: By making me sick?

BCB: By encouraging you to slow down.

BC: How exactly is making me sick taking care of us? And what's up with the royal "we"?

BCB: What are you doing right now?

BC: Blogging.

BCB: Do you know what time it is?

BC: I like blogging. It is a creative outlet. It gives me pleasure. You're putting so much pressure on me.

BCB: Apparently, we're not sick enough.

BC: Oh my god, relax! Fine, I'm going to bed.

BCB: We're putting you on lock-down tomorrow. You can leave to get a movie or to go to the drugstore if you absolutely have to. Otherwise, you're resting. Don't even think about going to Bed Bath & Beyond or Home Depot.

BC: But, I really need another carpet and the stupid skylight leaked all over my sheets. And, I need to get that plastic insulation stuff for the windows. It's freezing up here; you know it is. If I don't take care of it this weekend, I'll have to wait until next weekend. I'll never get everything together and nice how I want it to be.

BCB: What do we have to do for you to get this? You are doing too much. Are you hearing us? Our glands are swollen, our head is filled with mucus, and our throat is raw from coughing. Please don't make us do anything more. Aren't we all suffering enough?

BC: No need to be so harsh. I'm going to rest this weekend... I swear.

BCB: We know.


starshine said...

So, is BCB "Buttercup's Body"?

I'm glad you're listening to it! Take good care of yourself, and rest, rest, rest!

Buttercup said...

Starshine - Very good. I haven't been doing a good job listening to it, but I'm trying. I got ten hours of sleep last night but I'm still sick. :( It's fluids and bed for me today. Hope you're having a nice Saturday!

gravelly said...

Buttercup! You have to stop to smell the flowers! Hope you will really rest this weekend!

InterstellarLass said...

OK, first off, this is so excellently written. :) Good job. Second of all, I hope you listened to yourself and rested!

Buttercup said...

Gravelly - For the most part I did. No worries.

Lass - Thank you kindly, and yes, I did a pretty good job listening to myself. :)

Anonymous said...

i sweeeaaarrr I didnt do it