Tuesday, January 16, 2007

A Few More Weeks (and Weeks) Only

Movies: Glad you all enjoyed the eye candy! Incidentally, I almost didn't go to see "Stomp the Yard" because Rotten Tomatoes, a site for film reviews, ratings, and schedules, gave them a big fat "splat." Normally, I like RT's reviews, but in this instance they did not give the movie enough credit.

They also gave "Dreamgirls" way too much credit in my opinion, giving it an 80% approval rating. Apparently everyone, including my mom, loved Dreamgirls except for me. Not that I hated it; I just didn't love it. True, Jennifer Hudson can sing, even to herself at the top of her lungs in an empty theater (a little awkward), and true, some of the music was great (like Beyonce's disco version of "One Night Only" which I've had in my head since last night). But, it would have been so much more powerful had there been less musical cheese and more drama in between numbers. For example, I was cringing in my site, mortified for the actors and actresses, while watching them croon to one another, "We are a family... like a giant tree..." Too much Kraft, not enough substance. I give it a 3 (on a 5 point scale). "Stomp the Yard," of course, gets a 4.5 for obvious reasons.

A Totally Unconnected Realization: An interesting thing happened at therapy last night, I realized that I was acting like an adolescent in regards to my attitude about doing work for Dragon Lady. For weeks, I've been internally, and sometimes externally, ranting and raving about what a bi-atch DL is and how I simply can not bear to do the work I'm supposed to do for her. Last Friday, when she left me a nasty message ordering me to finish some summaries for her, my immediate reaction was "Eff her! How dare she be so nasty to me." Then, pissed, I procrastinated and didn't do her work for most of the weekend. Served her right!... Um, no.

Basically, my attitude was, "Eff you, DL, you're not the boss of me!" Accept, of course, DL is the boss of me (for now), and the only thing I was accomplishing through my adolescent-esque rebellion was stressing myself out and giving myself mini-panic attacks. As an admitted over-achiever (at least prior to this year at the firm when I started actively pushing off as much work as possible in the interests of self-protection), leaving work unfinished does not sit well with me. I can procrastinate like nobody's business, but when it comes down to deadlines, I usually get everything done on time, and I usually get it done well. (It's nice how the firms crush that desire to do work well out of associates, isn't it? But that's a post for another time).

Here's what CG suggested last night: Clearing things off my plate is a way to take care of myself. Conversely, procrastinating and keeping things on my plate is not taking care of myself; rather, it's a way of causing myself unnecessary stress and might even be viewed as potentially sabotaging myself by invoking DL's ire and causing more problems for me.

CG is brilliant, no?

I left her office knowing what I needed to do: I have to stop my whining, suck it up, and do what I need to in order to leave this place on terms that I'm comfortable with. I need to get my work done because I'm an adult (eh-hem), and because I get paid a lot of money for it, and because I have personal integrity. If this means foregoing some social activities, missing Grey's Anatomy, and not being able to go to the gym for another couple of weeks while I put all of my remaining energy into interviewing, so be it.

Now is the time for sacrifice. Unfortunately, not everything can change all at once. Such is life. Soon enough, I will be free, and then the fun can begin. But, for now, I need to be patient. It's all a part of my as-yet-not-revealed-to-me master plan. I'm sure of it.

I'm a Capricorn; we are made to suck things up. Lest you think that we don't have fun while sucking things up, listen to this and get pumped. You go, Beyonce!


starshine said...

Sounds like progress! How was the interview today?

mist1 said...

Netflix has ruined me. I should get out more.

Gypsy said...

Why does CG have to be so darn smart? ;)

Buttercup said...

Starshine - It went well. More details will be forthcoming.

Mist1 - Thanks for stopping by!

Gypsy - Thanks goodness!

fringes said...

Followed you from Mist1's blog. I have a Buttercup of my own. Nice space you have here. Thanks for the movie reviews. I live and die by Rotten Tomatoes. And Netflix.