Choking On Garbage In The Name Of Counter-Terrorism

I'm so pissed at the idiotic actions "Homeland Security" has taken in the name of countering terrorism. I've been pissed for a while on behalf of brown people and those of Middle Eastern descent, many of whom have been targeted by this administration's wars. Two weeks ago, while traveling in Canada, I got pissed on behalf of Canadians and Mexicans, our neighbors to the North and South, who have to put up with our mad plans to wall them out. I even got pissed on behalf of those Canadians who muttered, "Let's kick all the Americans out," in response to a news article describing the proposed US-Canadian Immigration Fence, while I was standing next to them, innocently, buying OJ in a convenience store in Vancouver. It's only natural for Canadians to bluster about kicking Americans out of their country when Americans seem so intent upon kicking the world out of our country. I would have probably felt and said the same thing if I was them. But I'm not. Thanks to Bushie, I'm part of the North American behemoth currently casting a shadow across the globe.

I'm pissed on behalf of immigrants in general, who are now often treated with even more suspicion, disrespect and disregard than they were before this latest round of preventive strikes and isolationism began. I'm especially pissed on behalf of asylum seekers who now, in addition to having to demonstrate through excrutiatingly detailed accounts that they have suffered persecution - which is understandable, though emotionally and sometimes practically difficult -, also have the burden of convincing oftentimes ignorant, unkind, Ameri-centric asylum officers that they are not terrorists because they are from Pakistan or Afghanistan, because they wear or wore a headscarf, or because they are Muslim.

I'm pissed on behalf of the 50% of Americans - me included - who don't support Bush who can only nod in sympathy - as if to say, we're with you, not them - when people from other countries tell us that they are boycotting America until at least 2008, which is what a friendly Welsh couple told Raj and I over breakfast at our B&B in Victoria, B.C. America is growing increasingly divided within itself and from the rest of the world. I don't want to be divided from the rest of the world, but that's the posture this administration is forcing upon me.

I'm also pissed on behalf of myself because, during the last few times that I flew, I was unable to bypass baggage claim by packing my belongings economically in my carry-on bag because the administration decided that items as small and innocuous as mascara wands, liquid pens, and foundation bottles could be used to conceal explosive materials. Because of recent "relaxed" restrictions that allow passengers to carry "liquids, gels or aerosols in containers of 3 ounces or less, as long as they all fit into a clear 1-quart plastic bag" I'll be able to carry my make-up with me on my next flight. It's about freakin' time. What exactly did our esteemed government expect the would-be terrorists to do with all that banned make-up? Did they envision 20 terrorists gathering together on the plane and surreptitiously dumping out the contents of their lipgloss containers into the palms of one lucky suicide bomber?

Clearly, all the policy-makers at Homeland Security ("HS") are men. Women know the painstaking effort it takes to get the last bit of mascara out of the tube, or the last smudge of lip gloss, and could have told HS that the idea of a bunch of men huddled together shaking make-up containers in the air in order to get out their explosive materials is highly improbable, let alone ludicrous. And even if they tried it - say, by passing the make-up containers down the aisles to one another - don't you think someone would notice?

Above all else, I'm pissed on behalf of the environment, because Mother Nature is suffering big-time because of the efforts of HS. During the wholesale ban on liquids, passengers in security lines were throwing away water bottles - along with innumerable other containers - by the thousands. With these latest relaxed restrictions, passengers are now able to bring on liquids purchased in the gate area after security, but they will still no doubt throw away their water bottles prior to going through security. Can you imagine how much extra garbage this is generating? Our landfills were already overflowing before "Homeland Security" started running things. God knows what they look like now.

That's just the United States. In Canada, when I went to purchase an OJ in the gate area, I was told that every liquid purchased must be poured into a large paper cup at the time of purchase due to "airport regulations." I was thirsty and hadn't had breakfast so I bought it, and in doing so I tripled the amount of garbage I alone would normally have produced for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Dumping the contents of a plastic container into a paper cup that I could drink in the gate area, but which I had to dispose of prior to the flight, in no way made air travel safer for me or my fellow passengers. To be fair, as this was in Canada I suppose I can't blame HS, although I'm sure their behind it in some way.

Getting back to the US, normally I travel with a Nalgene bottle that I refill as I go so that I don't leave behind me an unnecessary trail of waste. This last trip, I knew I was on precarious ground allowing my empty Nalgene bottle to go through security. Sure enough, one officer opened his mouth to make a fuss, but thankfully a different officer shut him down by saying shortly, "It's empty, man." HS has us so paranoid about liquids that even empty water bottles are suspect!

It's all so ridiculous. Yes, the thought of terrorists bringing aboard liquid explosives scares the daylights out of me. But we're not going to counter those threats by over-inclusive bans that provide terrorists with a roadmap as to how to avoid being targeted by our security. Practical issues of counter-terrorism aside, I'm all for policies that make our country, and the world, more secure. But, I don't believe that drowning our country in garbage is going to help us become more secure. "Securing" our nation will be an ultimately pointless endeavor if in so doing HS destroys the very thing it's attempting to protect.

Come to think of it, maybe this is all part of an elaborate terrorist plot? Instead of destroying our economy and killing us all off, they're trying to turn the forces of American consumerism against America! If we bury ourselves alive in garbage, there will be nothing left of America for the terrorists to try to destroy. We'll do their work for them while they're home relaxing in front of their satellite TVs, watching CNN chronicle the whole dramatic story.