Sunday, November 12, 2006

Heartbroken

I feel like someone has carved a hole in my chest and taken a piece of me away. The feeling of missing him is overwhelming. I can't stop crying. I feel an incredible sense of loss. The loss of the present, and the loss of the future I thought we were going to have. I feel so sad being in our apartment alone. I feel like I'm suffocating. I don't think I'll be able to write for a while.

13 comments:

Tracy said...

Oh, Buttercup, I'm so sorry. My heart feels so sad for you. You are such a wonderful, special and unique person. Try to remember that you have a lot of people in your life who love you and are here for you. You are in my prayers.

Ally Bean said...

Breath deeply and do what you need to do to grieve over your lose. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Time will put this into perspective, but I realize that doesn't assauge the hurt in the preseent. I'm sorry.

Gypsy said...

Oh no!! I don't know what happened, but I can read between the lines. I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.

wordnerd said...

OH NO...I am also reading between the lines here...Buttercup, you are a wonderful, WONDERFUL, funny, intelligent, sensitive and thoughtful person. You are stronger than you think. Breath deep, indulge yourself a bit (whether it be crying, Ben and Jerry's, Acupuncture in the middle of the day, etc...) and know that we are all thinking of you. My heart goes out to you...it really does.

I realize this sounds weird....but we've been commenting back and forth forever now and I feel like I know a certain part of you (the part that you put on display in this blog anyway) very well...if ever you need a buddy to talk to or a fresh perspective on things...drop me a line on my blog and I'll email you my number.

I'm thinking of you and sending warm thoughts your way.

Buttercup said...

Tracy, Ally Bean, Gypsy and Wordnerd - Thanks for being there. Your comments are making me cry because they're so sweet, and because I'm so sad right now. I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk about this on the blog, and I'm not sure if I'll want to talk about anything else, so I'm not sure about blogging for right now. I don't know that anyone wants to hear about how I feel like I'm dying right now. (Eventhough I know I'm not).

InterstellarLass said...

I don't even need special glasses to read between the lines. Rediscover the strength that shines so brightly in your writing. You are a phenomenal woman. Nothing and no one can change that. You will heal. It will take time, but you will heal. My heart goes out to you because I know this sucks. Take care of yourself.

Caledonia said...

I'm so sorry, hun. *hugs*

Artemis said...

Just dropped in and am so sorry to read about what's been happening Buttercup :( Write about when you can, if you can, take your time. Take time off and let yourself begin to heal. Much love.

ellbabe said...

hey,
keep on writing if you can, there is a lot of us out there, staring into space, wondering what sucked the life out of us. You are not alone, honey.

Buttercup said...

Lass, Artemis, Caledonia, and Ellbabe - Thank you all for your positive words.

Anonymous said...

I don't know your situation but I know how you feel. If you could see my heart at this moment then you would understand. I guess what I am saying is that your not alone in your sadness.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to how you are feeling, exactly. My husband of two years just left, it's very overwhelming. I'm finding that writing my own little blog is helping to keep my mind off the 1000 permutations of sadness and loss I feel. It WILL get better. It's awful to go through, but it will.

Buttercup said...

La Chica, I am so sorry!! I feel overwhelmed.