Thursday, March 01, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #30


Thirteen Bodily Injuries That I have Sustained

1) During my first week in Cambodia, I ripped two tendons in my foot by standing up after sitting in a chair. My foot had fallen asleep and I didn't feel that I was attempting to stand on the top of my foot. Off-balance, I hopped around a few times, flailing my arms, and then fell to the floor. When I looked down, there was a lump the size of a large lemon sticking out of my foot. For the rest of my 6-week stay in Cambodia, I was on crutches.

2) While studying for finals my last year in law school, I stepped on a sewing needle and it got lodged inside my foot. I had to go to the ER to have the needle removed. On the doctor's first attempt, the needle broke off in my foot and split into three pieces. Because I had to get back to studying and didn't want to wait for a surgeon, I pushed the doctor to dig around in my foot until he had extricated all three pieces. I was on crutches for the rest of finals.

3) While travelling in China I was bitten by a mysterious bug and a large boil developed around the bite mark. After trying in vain to force the doctors at the hospital to cut it out of me, I ended up seeking assistance from a Chinese traditional healer who was amazing! He cured the boil, but after I arrived back in the states, more boils started appearing up and down my legs. Before the doctors figured out that I had a staff infection and treated it appropriately, doctors ripped open at least six boils with medical scissors to drain the pus. It was excruciatingly painful and so gross that it almost made me pass out.

4) I bruised my shins while pole-dancing.

5) When I was about 12, I raced after my mother's Volvo on my bicycle and wiped out on our gravel driveway, sliding across the stones on my hands and knees. My palms and knees were both filled with ground in pieces of stone and dirt, and I had to soak in a tub for a long time before most of the pieces came out. My knees still have scars from the gravel that was embedded in them.

6) Whenever I do document review, I get nasty paper cuts all over my fingers from the redwelds.

7) I almost got hit by a bus because I had my arms tucked into my sweatshirt. I tripped and fell down in front of an oncoming bus, scraping up my knee, hip, and elbow.

8) When I was 10, while playing "SPUD" at camp, I twisted violently around to start sprinting away from the person who had just dropped the ball and ran directly into a tree. The tree had a small rock wall around it that I tripped over. While falling, I smashed my face against the tree trunk causing my sunglasses to split open the skin just under my left eyebrow. There was an outrageous amount of blood and I freaked out all the counselors. I had to get stitches and still have a scar above my eye.

9) My senior year of high school, I broke my collar bone while at a lifeguard camping party way out in the middle of the woods. We had all been sitting around the fire when I decided I would grab the bag of marshmallows and run into the woods with them. My friend, a 200 lb male, raced after me and tackled me, hitting me in the collar bone with his shoulder and snapping my bone in two. When I stood up and saw that my arm was hanging far down along the right side of my body and realized I couldn't move it, I knew something was seriously wrong. Luckily, I was completely wasted. Unluckily, so was almost everyone else at the party, so it took a lot of convincing before someone realized I was actually hurt.

10) About 20 years ago, I accidentally stabbed myself between my thumb and index finger with a pencil. I got most of the lead out, but there's still a gray mark on my skin that's never going to go away.

11) While attempting to engage in quiet nookie time while staying at my parent's house, I made the mistake of thinking it would be a good idea to make-out on the rug-covered floor instead of on the creaky bed. For my trouble, I got an unbelievable rug burn on my back that took months to heal. Today, I still have three shiny smooth spots of unhealed skin over three of my vertebra. I look like I had back surgery.

12) During elementary school, I fell down with great frequency and had about 5 or 6 concussions. I have memories of sitting in the nurse's office - after hitting my head in the morning but going to school anyway - waiting for my mom to pick me up and puking repeatedly into a large black garbage bag.

13) I developed a cyst after doing laser hair removal on my bikini region. After months of trying to get the damn thing to go away by, among other things, attempting to squeeze the heck out of it (don't do that), I finally had to go to a plastic surgeon to have it cut out of me. Now, I'm not exactly mutilated, but I'm definitely marred.

* Bonus *
(Gravelly reminded me about this one): When I was 3-years old, I was sitting in a rocking chair with my 2-year old brother, Frey, who was sick and very cranky. For some reason I wasn't wearing a shirt. I must of seriously annoyed Frey because he bit me on my chest, piercing my skin in the shape of a bite mark and drawing blood. To this day, I have a scar from his teeth in the shape of a half horse-shoe on my left boob about an inch away from my nipple. Frey hates when I bring up this story.


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

20 comments:

The Crazy King of Clowns said...

Never mind - i hope you weren'tbedly hurt any of those times...

Anyway, Happy T13!!!

:)

JohnH985 said...

Well at least you're all in one piece.

My 13 are up.

Tink said...

Ouch, that hurts! Enough injuries for a lifetime!
My TT shows a lot of pics of my two kittens growing up.

Starshine said...

The Chinese boils would have freaked me out. Glad you're okay!

Waspgoddess said...

Oh my God, you are totally wild... I have hardly got any scars or interesting tales to tell. Excellent reading though. The boils were scary. And the vertebrae... ouch...

gravelly said...

How about when Frey had strep and bit his sister????

wordnerd said...

those made me LAUGH and LAUGH because I too...am one clumsy girl. And the funniest part...MD is possibly even CLUMSIER than I am. MD and I often laugh and tell people that we might as well start giving to the hospital now...because by the time we have kids, we're gonna need a wing or something.

Dragonheart said...

Ouch! You've certainly had your share of injuries! That staph infection sounds nasty!

Wood said...

wow, when you put it that way, I realize that you're quite a clutz.

:)

thanks for reminding me about those ER trips you had in law school, helping you navigate cambodia on crutches, and tranlating for you with two chinese healers. fun.

Shiloh Walker said...

And I thought I was bad... lol.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Whoa! I just have muscle and joint problems -- no interesting scars. Which is sorta bad; it's hard for people to believe that I'm the wreck I claim to be when I look so good.

Happy TT! Be sure to stop back at West of Mars over the weekend to see Pam in action. Your character sketch of her -- as being fear-driven and insecure -- is right on. Nice going!

Gypsy said...

Gah!!! I hurt for you.

Willow said...

I'm just glad you've survived! I couldn't help laughing out loud at the SPUD accident. I remember playing as a kid, and could picture it exactly as you said!

Queen of Wands said...

Ouch, ouch, and triple million ouches! You must be one tough person after dealing with a broken collar bone. OW!

Sparky Duck said...

my goodness, the tendon thing creeped me out!!

Qtpies7 said...

I love the bonus! good, golly, you get hurt a lot, lol.
I think I broke my knee once, but didn't go to the doc, and when I did they said I waited too long and they wouldn't even exray it. I still have a boney lump sticking out the side of my knee.

Buttercup said...

Based on all of your comments, I can only conclude that I am in fact a superclutz. :)

Wordnerd, I'm glad I'm in good company.

Wood, I have not forgotten your Chinese translations, Cambodia on crutches, or you, Bubbles, and Pas carrying my books to that room that we studied in during finals - and you doing a handstand on the desk!

Marcia said...

Ok, so now you have them all behind you, maybe you can relax from here on out.

InterstellarLass said...

Hmmm. I'm not sure I have 13 injuries. Maybe I do. I tripped on the blacktop in elementary school and got a rock stuck in my knee. Big scar there. Rug burn? Yeowch. Hope it was worth it. ;)

Terrific Teens said...

Wow thats a lot of injuries!